Merry Christmas!

A reader named Goob from up North requested that we should update our newly wed blog since it's been a while. So, here I come to please our faithful audience Goob.


We have been super busy. Actually, that's not true. I have been semi-busy ( well, even then Busy is a relative word) while JD is insanely busy.

I've been busy changing the diaper, feeding, nursing, writing, tutoring, and more feeding and changing diapers.

JD's been button-pushing and directing here and there in down South and up North days and nights and weekends. ( And, watching, changing diapers, feeding, and doing the dishes in betweens).

We had visitors from up North, DC., faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar East, and that's about it.
We have been traveling a lot too since, you know, JD had to work everwhere and I had to take advantage of the free lodging while JD was working.


Any particular incidents, you ask?


There have been lots of incidents and dramas. But, I really can't write about it all since my brain is right now empty, you see, and it refuses to work with me to describe it all over holidays.

Maybe I can copy and paste this informal article from another blog that I keep for some folks.
I think the reader Goob from up North will appreciate this a lot since he's a political junkie. And All political junkies that I've met in this country (including those "wanna be"s) have expressed their inquisitiveness to me just because I was born in South Korea ( Until they get to know me better).

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I don't know if you guys have followed the news in this holiday season, but Kim Jong Il, the North Korean dictator is dead a few days ago. I initially thought, "well, does that mean that the trafficking victims from NK are no longer at risk?

Unfortunately, the answer is No. It may not affect any NK people's lives, let alone, the women and children at risk of human trafficking.

The dear leader, Kim Jong Il, appointed his youngest son, Kim Jong Un, as the "Great Successor." last September. The dear leader knew that his days were numbered and he'd better hurry up and get ready for who was going to run the country after his death.

And the dear leader picked Kim Jong Un, his youngest son, over two older ones. There are number of reasons why the dear leader picked the youngest one. And choosing the youngest one over the older ones is a big deal in Korean culture. But, I won't go in details since it's not that important to the livelihood of trafficking victims. And, I am assuming since this is the blog for trafficking victims' cause, none of the readers is that interested. ( If you are, leave a comment).

A lot of speculations are out there about this kid, Kim Jong Un. That's right. He's a kid, a 28 year old who's crazy about NBA basketball. But, never overlook his young age and inexperience. A sushi chef who cooked for the Kim's family remembers Kimg Jong Un, "ruthless, competitive, and ambitious. And he added, "Just like his father."

Experience and age can change someone. But, the words, "ambitious" and "just like his father" doesn't give us much hope for change in terms of the lives of trafficking victims. On a top of this, Jong Un intends to continue his father's politics, meaning, he'll pretty much do anything using his force and authority to control people and earn loyalty from the NK people.

What does this mean? Well, Jong Un is willing to or let his elite groups send 30% of food aid and a good portion of NK's very own grown (??) rice and corn to the military. And, it'll be so even if it means starvation for the rest of the North Koreans (as always).

Experts also confirms that he will pretty much do anything to be in power, which means, NK people won't be free from the political oppression, either.

Here is the thing. NK women and children are trafficked in China as sex and domestic slaves. And it's primarily because they want to escape poverty. They cross the Duman river ( or Tuman river) on the border of China and NK, and get caught by the Chinese soldiers,and sold to brothels and such. Sure. Chinese is not free from the blame, but if NK was a peaceful and free nation, the women wouldn't be crossing the border and get sold to slavery to begin with.

Having said that, the lives of people in NK, including trafficking victims, would unlikely be better off, just because the dear leader died.

And, you wonder what you can do for them. ( Did I call it or what?). You can pray. You can donate food and resources to the people who perform humanitarian reliefs on behalf of NK people. Yes, the humanitarian aid will benefit the NK tyrant and his military greatly and only certain portion of the aid will go to the people. But, at this point, that's the best shot, unfortunately.

Check out this ORG working for NK people ( and victims).

It says "refugees." But, trafficking victims are many of Those refugees.

http://www.linkglobal.org/thereliance/

Merry Christmas!!!!!

JD Reflects

This past Sunday we remembered horrible and tragic events that transpired ten years ago. Ten years ago, standing on the front steps of College Hall, observing my all time favorite color, sky blue, which hurts your eyes to look at and only happens in Western NY on a clear, sunny day between nine and 10am, I never thought God would have brought me here in life:


God is good...

YB says

Oh boy!! It's been so long since last time I wrote something on this blog. What have I been up to? Actually a whole lot of mom stuff. ;) I know what you are thinking. You think that I have been glued to G and my whole life has been evolved around G. Well, that is mostly true, but not completely true.

Let's see.. where do I start?

After my mom and my sister left, I have officially entered the boot camp for a mommy with a newborn. And that consists following activities: putting G to sleep, waking G up to feed, giving G bath, playing with G, making G feel better when he cries, figuring out what to do, when G doesn't stop crying, changing G's diapers, waking up middle of the night and analyzing what's making him cry (again) and do something about it, etc.

And, the past two or three weeks of work has paid off. A) G's been growing and gaining weight (I don't know how much he weighs now but some newborn clothes and even his swaddling blankets are a bit tight and small??? for him); B) He can fall asleep without a problem on his crib; C) he knows that when it's around 9:00 PM, it's time for bed: D) he wakes up to eat when it's about the time to be fed; E) and he only wakes up once or twice in the middle of the night.

I also received an official admission to the mommy world after the boot camp. And that is...an invitation to a church friend's little boy's first bday party. Granted it sounds pretty mundane to many of you, but this is a big deal to me. It's my first, MY FIRST invitation to a baby's bday party. Aside from my own(??) and my little cousins', I've never been to one. Neither my marriage nor pregnancy ever was enough for these moms to even consider inviting me to their kids' party. So, yes, it's no coincidence that G is a badge of honor and a crown of glory on so many levels :D

But, mothering G isn't the only one I have been doing. I have some other activities that I have been working on such as....coupon shopping :D.

So, last time I went coupon shopping, I had some major deals in prep for my mother in law and brother in law visiting. Well, I got a box of Splenda with 1g fiber for my mother in law for 49 cents ( which is supposed to cost about a little less than 5 dollars)

A box of cereal for my brother in law for 88 cents:

The Bryer BLAST Mint Chocolate Chip Ice cream with brownie chunks for $2.25 (supposed to be $7.00)

And chicken quarters for 59 cents per lb. ( although I am left with deboning 20lb of chicken quarts, most likely on my own.)

I also left G in JD's hand and hung out with other moms. And, I discovered the whole new world of mommies. And it is quite interesting. What do I mean by that? Well, apparently, some moms make other moms feel bad about having an induction or C-section instead of having a vaginal delivery, relying on epidural to ease the pain instead of persevering(???) through that atrocity by hiring Douala or somebody, and feeding their babies formula instead of breastfeeding (regardless of the moms' physical or medical conditions). And some of those other moms are ACTUALLY feel bad about not being able to breastfeed.

To which I said,... huh???

I've never heard of such thing up until recent that I entered the realm of the mommy group. It's probably because it is an issue that nobody really cares about other than those moms who muscle through that pain for whatever reasons. It's fine if they want to do it, but that, I don't think, is a universal truth that anyone has to live by. That's probably why I've never heard of that outside of this mommy group realm.

My philosophy of life is such that God gives a plenty of trials in life to lead one to the cross. So, unless "PERSEVERING" through the delivery pain gives me either extra cash in my pocket (And it'd BETTER BE more than six figures per event) or extra crowns of glory in heaven, I am not willing to waste my single breath nor a second to face that pain (without epidural). But, apparently, their inability to breastfeed or having a C-section make some moms feel truly bad. I don't know why. Whatever. Maybe mommy group is created by some aliens from Mars. And nobody is meant to understand how they think, just as nobody could ever understand why Tom Cruise still believes in Scientology.

So, there it is, a pretty eventful life we are living, eh!.

JD Checks In...

Well, the weather cooled off. Our high temps are only in the mid to upper 90s for the rest of the week. Holy cow. I feel for the heartland. It has just been brutal. Someone is continuing the attempt to get our attention. I hope we listen.

YB is out tonight. Apparently the women in our Bible study group have a thing for "The Bachelourette." YB was exhausted when I got home but went anyway. That means tonight is just me and G and since I'm writing this post you can probably guess that he's already in bed. In some ways I can't wait for him to get older. I got the entire run of "Superbook" on DVD the other day which, along with the rest of my animation collection, will provide for hours of evening and Saturday morning entertainment. I would like to get him one of those $50 remote control helicopters they sell in malls these days so we can go down to the park and fly it, along with some model rockets. YB wants him to learn physics by book. I'm all for that, but I'm a practical application guy. :) But at the same time I'm enjoying every minute I'm with him (except when he's crying and I can't get him to stop). I like that he never gets tired of his vibrating chair, or likes the one song that repeats over and over again from a piano CD when he goes to bed. I like that just now he is learning to smile, that kind of baby smile where they can't smile enough so their mouth opens real wide. I like that he tends to smile when he sees me. And I like that he is getting so fat that even the back of his head his earlobes are pudgy.

So I sit tonight not only writing, but listening to him on the monitor. I'm not concerned with the grass that grew so fast from the rain last night, the days of work ahead, the freelance season coming up or the fact that my truck oil is way overdue for a change. I'm content to sit and listen for him and be there when he needs me.

JD Checks In...

It's quiet in the house. What a strange sound.

YB's mom and sister left yesterday. We dropped them off at the airport and watched their flight to Phili get delayed and delayed. Their ultimate destination was Seattle before returning to Seoul. It was a hard parting. YB's mom cried while we visited Starbucks and again when we took them up to the security line and watched them go around the corner out of sight.


This morning is quiet in the house as we get ready for church. YB's mom is not rummaging around in the kitchen and doing a quarter load of laundry. YB's sister is not in her room with the door shut watching Korean TV on her laptop. It's just YB, Gavin and me.

To my mom, dad and sister, and YB's mom and sister, thank you. I do not know how YB and I would have gotten through this month without your help. It's hard to see you all go return to everyday life but I know it must be this way. Now it is our turn to adjust to everyday life. All three of us getting used to having just us around; continuing projects on the house, learning to go through the days, and learning to sleep in a crib. But a room will always be ready for you should any of you want to visit.

JD checks in

So...it's been a while. What's happened since YB or I last posted? Well, we moved to a new house, got it as ready as possible and then had G. Four weeks ago tomorrow G made his appearance at 9pm as a healthy seven pound, 14 ounce, 21.5 inch long baby boy. My mom and dad have come and gone and YB's mom and sister will be with us until the end of this week.

What a run.

Never have I known such joy. Never have I known such sacrifice. Not a bad sacrifice, but a leaving behind of what I would call the childish. The stuff you would rather do because the gratification comes faster instead of the responsibilities needing your attention. But it's worth it because through this time, and for every day after, I know God better, I know Him more. I know YB anew, more and better everyday, and I get to see G develop and be his dad.

I won't give it up.

Jd checks in...

What a week. YB and I are gearing up for our move, things are falling into place, the Gman is set to make his debut two weeks after our close. So with all of that going on what better to happen than have a hard drive failure? The salt in the wound is that I had most of the essential stuff backed up until three days before the crash. Now I am having to piecemeal it all back, pulling from devices that don't naturally sync back to the computer and taking the machine in to get a new drive installed which I would do myself if things were accessible inside an iMac.

The drive must have been under warranty because it didn't cost us anything but what really gets me down is the amount of time I'm spending trying to put the pieces back together. Last night we got the computer back and I spent four hours forcing my iPad to relinquish data (I hate that it is nearly impossible to sync data back to a Mac from these devices) and grabbing stuff that had been on YB's laptop after freaking out the previous night as to how we're going to get all this stuff done. YB is not happy with me because I'm not able to not worry or think about it and wind up distracted until situations like these are resolved or worked through. While I'm not happy with myself either I can't figure out a way to stay on top of the eight ball and have enough hours in the day.

So now I sit in the news department at work at 5:35pm on a Friday night with the IT guy finding out that my semi resurrected drive will take till tomorrow to copy everything I need. I think I'll go home and see if YB will let me in the house and plead forgiveness.

JD checks in...

What a lazy Sunday afternoon.

I love it.

I just got back from a run (five straight miles except for stopping to cross a busy street). It's hard to believe the last time I seriously ran was before I met YB when I broke my foot. Yes, I'm avoiding pine cones. I've been going fairly regularly for a few weeks now. It's nice to back into the swing of it especially since the pool at Bally's isn't open when it says it should be and the staff isn't will to crack down on dirty old men wearing their sandals and water mocks in the water.

Eww.

Anyway, like I said it's a wonderfully lazy Sunday afternoon. I just got back from a run and YB is asleep in the bedroom. I'm forming plans in my head on how to get through the month of May. We are still on track to close on our house on the 18th. YB is due June 2nd. In that two week time span I'd like to clean and fix the house and move in. YB also has a diaper shower our Bible study group is throwing. Talk about busy. But I think it can be done. It's going to have to be.

Our house will be open for Thanksgiving and possibly Christmas. Anyone is welcome for the former. We'll have to extra bedrooms (a smaller one and a great big one upstairs) prepped for visitors.

YB says

There's gotta be a way to enjoy this third trimester. I don't care what others say, but there's gotta be one.

I can handle being fat, frequent bathroom trip, and sleeping my days away. But, what I can't handle is the boredom and lack of motivation.

Up until the end of the second trimester, my outlet and the only outlet to deal with the boredom is to read, write, and rant about politics and HT. But, now that I am at my almost 34 weeks, I can't concentrate on or get excited about anything, nor get myself motivated to even write a three sentence long email to volunteers.

And, my mind is just bored to death. A day seems like a thousand years lately.

I don't want to complain about pregnancy, esp. if i am gonna have to go through this before the baby arrives, I would like to enjoy every minute of it.

I have done some research on google, as I always do with any question that I have, to find a solution to enjoy third trimester.

So far, I found an article, but they don't seem to offer the answers that i want to hear. And some of the suggestions are something that I've already tried and kinda tired of doing them.

So, my question for you, aunties, cousins, and MIL( mother in law), what would you do differently if you can go back to your third trimester? (Please don't tell me to do arts and crafts b/c I dislike them with passion)

YB says

It's been a while since we updated our newlywed blog. I have been meaning to write something. But, I have been living a life like Zombie since I got back from Korea-- getting up 2:00 in the morning, sleeping through the day until 5:00 pm, and going back to bed around 9:00 pm, then do the same thing all over again.

Speaking of a crazy sleeping pattern, I have a funny story to tell you about getting up 2:00 in the morning. I have been discovering the world of coupon shopping lately, and Harris Teeter recently held a super coupon shopping day just last week. It began Wednesday last week, and I, as usual, woke up at 2:30 in the morning that day. I tried to stay in bed, but I was too excited to save money on coupon shopping on the top of still getting used to the new time zone, I just couldn't go back to sleep.

So, that old saying, "The early gets the worm" spinning in my head and the fear that other moms would pick up all the almond milk and organic milk before I even get to the parking lot, I decided to proceed to grocery shopping around 3:30 in the morning.

3:30 in the morning, nobody was around except for a few grumpy employees. These are obviously the overnight workers that even JD believes that they deserve extra grace and mercy even if they are mean and unkind to you.

As anticipated, I had no problem picking up the groceries that I wanted to get. I obviously had zero competition. I brought about 11 coupons with me and proceeded to self-check out. When I finished scanning everything and clicked 'yes" button to "Do you have any coupons?" step, the computer asked for an employee assistance.

I asked one lady that gave me that look of "what are you doing up at 3 in the morning in my store" earlier to scan the coupons.

YB: Can you scan these coupons for me?

The Employee: Sure, but did you forget to cut them off ? Can you cut them off ?

Now, I've never had problems with the employees at the same store when I brought coupons without cutting the white blank spots off of the coupons after I printed them off of my computer. I just didn't realize that this was a big deal for the employees. But apparently it was, if they are working overnight.

The Employee: (Giving me that look of what the heck are you doing here making my life miserable? and reluctantly cutting off of some coupons) Ok. I scanned them all.

YB: Thank you so much ( tried to appease her grumpy attitude)!

I went back to the self-checkout machine and realized that my bill was still $35-- an outrageous and unacceptable price that I WILL NOT pay for.

(note: Ever since I began coupon shopping, nothing above $8 per trip seems to be acceptable to me. So, $35 is obviously a fortune ;p)

I also realized that some of the coupons were not doubled as it should have been according to the advertisement.

YB: Excuse me. Not every coupon was doubled.

Employee: the Super saving starts at 7:00 am.

YB: ( Very naively), then I'll just come back later. Can I have my coupons back?

Employee: ( Giving me a look of "are you seriously kidding me?") Well, I already put away the coupons and no one can open the drawer until the customer service person comes in at 7:00 am.

YB: Well, what do you want me to do?

Employee: Sighed. Let me get my manager.

A few minutes later a manager comes in, and the employee explained the messy situation.

Manager: (after listening to the story): You gotta be kidding me!!!!

By that time, I obviously felt really bad, but not as much as I was willing to give in and pay $35 for the grocery just to please everyone.

Manager: Ok. You are all set. I matched them everything and gave you another $10 discount.

As soon as I thanked them really loud, that employee gave me another look of (And this was the last one tee hee ;)) -- Just get out of my sight.

Well, so.. I got what I wanted, but I couldn't stop laughing. I kept reiterating to myself "If I were them, I would hate me too. "

Anyway, the lesson that I learned that day were...

1 Double coupon shopping doesn't start until Wed. 7:00 am, not 12:00 a.m. even though Wednesday officially starts at 12:00 a.m.

2. If an early bird is too early, then she is gonna have to try extra harder to get worms???

JD says...

Anyone who wants an exercise in discouragement and frustration can come see me for their 5-step plan:

1. Enter the home buying market in Hampton Roads.

2. Attempt to find a home you can afford that, 3., is in relatively good condition which, 4., is located in an area you want your wife and son-on-the-way to live in.

5. See steps one through four.

Take this one for example. It's a 2 bed/2 bath condo that has been on the market for almost two years...at least on Zillow. The official listing history has it starting at $265K. It's now down to $131K. YB and I looked at it tonight because we were going to low-ball the seller only to find out that the seller is kind of firm on the price. Or how about this one which YB and I looked at a few months ago. I passed on this ground floor condo because the main entrance, living room and bedroom windows face the property line and is located on the very quiet back-side of the condo building. The area is good but even in the middle of the day you never know who is back there and hardly any community residents would see that strange person anyway. Earlier this week I re-thought my decision, walked around the back after dark, and thought we might as well put an offer in on it only to find out it had gone to auction and sold since we last looked at it.

YB and I hope that we can find a 3 bed/2 bath house (or condo...doesn't really bother us except that we can't seem to find 3 bed condos unless they're the cookie-cutter ones built cheaply, look horrible and generally in areas we don't want to live). While our price point is out there, the neighborhoods are not. There were two condos in this neighborhood we were planning on meeting our agent at a few weeks ago but never stayed long enough as I was nervous about driving through there in the middle of the day. Then there are the houses we can afford that are in neighborhoods which seem okay, like this one. This particular duplex looks pretty nice from the street. The problem is that it butts up against a retaining pond with no guard rail, a very serious issue for a couple who is about to have a boy. The particular area this house is in, and others we looked at tonight, is very low lying and have very serious issues with dampness. Of the three houses we walked through, all of them had some kind of moisture damage or outright mold/mildew growing somewhere. If you look closely at that last picture you'll notice a blue tarp on the roof. Under that tarp in the upstairs closet is a sunken-in ceiling with mold or mildew going all the way down to the floor and showing up in the garage ceiling under that.

So YB and I continue to look and now hopefully you have a better idea of what we find on a typical day or night of house hunting.

YB says

It's been awhile since I posted last blog, so I was thinking this is about the time to update the newlywedlife news from the Jr. Dales. ( do you like this, by the way? tee hee ;))

We officially decided to name our Baby Dale " Gavin." We haven't decided on the middle name even though we narrowed it down to two choices- "Jonathan"( following the Dale's tradition) or "Micah( because it sounds good)." I told JD that I really think "Baby Dale" is the cutest name out of all but he said that we can't name Baby Dale "Baby" because he'll be teased a lot as soon as he enters the kindergarten to his teens, adulthood, and even as an old man.

Meanwhile, Baby Dale's been showing some rigorous movement and appetites. Particularly, his exercise begins around 12 O'clock mid night. One day, I was laying down watching TV, and I all of sudden felt that gassy bubbly movement in my lower belly. I wasn't sure if it were Baby Dale or my digestive system, so I gently pressed my hand against my belly to see if it is Baby Dale. Then, there he went again, again, and again. It felt like gentle ocean waves touching the palm of my hand. It was clear that something was pressing ( very very tenderly) against my belly. I could only guess it was my little guy or else, I need to go see the doc.

Baby Dale's been also reaching out for fatty and unhealthy food. So far, we have been cooking enchilada with lots of cheese and sour cream( no reduced fat), milk, yogurt, strawberry ice cream, cream of potato, cheese bread, etc. JD is super excited that he doesn't have to eat stir-fry for seven days a week. Even though he's always told me how much he loves my food and how he doesn't miss junky food, I noticed that it wasn't entirely true. I have been doing the budget for the past 3 weeks or so, and I have learned that some of the money transactions were going to Chick-fil-a, Ordinary(a cafe, where he confessed that he got a steak egg and cheese sandwich in the morning), etc. And, of course, I doubt JD went to Chick-fil-a get a grilled chicken tossed on the salad with nonfat vinaigrette dressing. So, with enchilada for the past three days, JD's been a happy camper.

HOUSE HUNTING is....

painful. JD's been a busy and a good papa Dale trying to bring home food. He's been working nonstop from 7 in the morning till ... I don't know, ... 9 or 10???

On the top of this workaholic life, JD has been house hunting to make sure that we have an extra room for Baby Dale, and let me tell you, it's been long and too long.

My criteria when looking for a house are pretty simple. 1) it is within or well below our price range 2) it has functional kitchen and bathroom 3) it has more than 2 rooms, and 4) the roof is not falling apart.

JD, on the other hand, is a complete different story. He is not happy with any houses that we looked at including the ones that I found in pretty good standing.

I don't think I can impose my ideas to rush him into making decisions to buy a house just because I am really REALLY sick of looking around. I know that we are not gonna buy a mansion right next to John Ashcroft's vacation house on the beach. And, this is going to be our first house, and we'll have plenty of opportunity to move into the bigger house ( whether it'll be 10 years down the road or later).

And comparing to all the houses that I have been to as a child in South Korea, all the houses including the houses that failed to meet JD's standard are mansions in my eyes.

But, JD sees all the flaws in the houses. The kitchen is too small ( as if he'll spend more time in that tiny kitchen that I will), the door is on the side, the house has a structural problem, the washer and dryer are outside, etc.

So, I told JD about the houses that I used to live in South Korea as a child to help him see things in perspective. But, the result was fruitless. He just said,

"Wow, this is why you are so OK. with pretty much any houses we looked at. But, .. umm.... we live in America? So,....."

I wanted to be like,

"Fine, you spoiled American!!!!!!!! You need to go to Africa and live in a mud house with no bathroom. That'll help you put things in perspective!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

But, I didn't say that. Why? because I used to say the something along those lines when JD didn't want to eat certain vegetables and that didn't change his mind about the vegetables that he didn't like. He would laugh about it, but I always ended up being the one who had to move on from there. ( Or secretly find my way to feed him the vegetables he strongly refused to eat).

At this point, i got nothing to say about any houses we look at ( unless the price is outrageous).

So, I just hope that we'll end up moving into one house, ONE house. with at least two bedrooms.

YB says

ASHER

Travis

Caden

Blake

seth

HADEN

GAVIN

So far, these are the potential names of Baby Dale that JD and I agreed upon. Unlike girls' name, we had much easier time agreeing upon picking out a few names. We really like Gavin, but as much as it sounds unique, I am not sure if I see Baby Dale as Gavin. I like Blake, but JD is not a fan of it. JD liked Caden a lot, but my friend's little boy name is Caden, and it stuck with me that Caden is a full Korean boy. OK. We both like Seth, but the name reminds me of a guy who was super skinny and nerdy at my school I don't mind so much about nerdy part, but someone who is so skinny to a point that he doesn't seem that healthy isn't something that I would like to be reminded of when we call our boy.